Forty rears on and the Newtown-based Montgomeryshire Family Crisis Centre is busier than ever, providing refuge and outreach support for women, men and their children.
Demand for the charity’s services, which have saved and transformed lives, is growing every year and has increased during this year’s Covid-19 pandemic lockdowns. Between 2017-18 and this year, the number of families needing support has increased from 205 to 306, and these figures continue to rise.
MFCC is now a well-established charity committed to providing comprehensive services to those experiencing or affected by domestic abuse across North Powys, which covers the old county of Montgomeryshire.
Given the growing demand for its services, MFCC desperately needs more money and the charity is turning to businesses and the community for support in its landmark 40th anniversary year.
With help from Powys County Council, which made a house available, MFCC opened its first refuge for women and children in 1980. In the late 1990s, a local man, who had been badly beaten by his wife, approached the charity for support, raising awareness that it was not just women that needed the specialist services.
MFCC took up the challenge and, in 2006, opened the first UK refuge for men and their children.
The charity now has 19 employees and is governed and supported by an experienced board of trustees who dedicate their time to making a real difference to domestic abuse survivors.
Domestic abuse is defined as a pattern of behaviour which an abuser uses to gain control over a partner or close family member. It can happen at any point during and after a relationship.
Domestic abuse can happen to anyone, regardless of age, background, gender, sexuality, religion, ethnicity or where they live. It occurs in both urban and rural areas, is not unusual, is never a one-off incident and it usually escalates over time.
The abuser may use a combination of different types of abuse to ultimately gain control. For those, including children, experiencing or affected by abuse it can be a confusing, frightening and isolating time.
MFCC’s message to victims is clear: “Domestic abuse is never acceptable. If you are experiencing domestic abuse, you are not to blame and you are not alone.”
Putting domestic abuse into perspective, here are the words of a survivor, identified as ‘The Woman in Black’: “I lay in bed next to the partner I loved and decided the only way I could stop him from hurting me was to kill myself.
“That decision felt like a huge relief. The 11-year nightmare would be over. I slept that night for the first time in months.
“In the morning, I revisited the idea of suicide. It was a good idea, the best I’d had in a long time I thought, but it dawned on me that, if I did kill myself, he would win. He would become the victim and not me.
“I could see him weeping at my funeral, our friends consoling him and them thinking that I was the coward. Yet, as he became more mentally ill and unstable, I knew that one day, and one day very soon, he was likely to take my life or kill both of us.”
The full survivor’s story can be found on the MFCC’s website at www.familycrisis.co.uk.
MFCC’s refuges provide emergency accommodation for both men and women, which are safe and supported environments, with trained staff providing time and space for adults and their children to make decisions about their futures.
Outreach support is given to adults experiencing domestic abuse who want or need to stay in their homes. MFCC offers confidential, practical and emotional one-to-one support including advice on keeping themselves and their children safe.
Adult group support includes the Freedom Programme, the Recovery ToolKit and the Compass Programme. The Freedom Programme aims to help female survivors of domestic abuse to make sense of, and understand, what has happened to them.
The Recovery Toolkit provides an opportunity for women, who have left an abusive relationship, to learn techniques to challenge negative thoughts, helping them to build positive, healthy relationships and empowering them to a life free from abuse.
The Compass Programme helps male victims of domestic abuse acknowledge and understand the abuse and its impact. The programme also helps to build a man's resilience and self-confidence following his experience.
Outreach support for children and young people under the age of 18 includes one-to-one sessions to help them learn how to keep safe and understand their feelings and emotions during their domestic abuse experiences.
There’s also a Safety Trust And Respect (S.T.A.R) programme which involves a group of children, who have lived with domestic abuse, learning practical skills around managing anger and keeping safe. The MFCC team ensures that children know they are not alone, and that domestic abuse is not their fault.
MFCC is not just focusing on victims of domestic abuse, however. The Domestic Abuse Hub is a programme for people who have found the strength to admit that they are abusing their partner or other members of their family but want to change.
Ask Me Ambassadors try to ensure that the change lasts. They are members of the local community who are trained to break the silence of abuse in the community and challenge myths and lies about domestic abuse.
MFCC also arranges presentations and events to get local communities involved in raising awareness of domestic abuse and the support services available to victims. And, most importantly, the charity offers a 24 hour helpline.
Abuse impacts all areas of family life, which is why MFCC desperately needs community and business support to sustain and enhance its specialist support services. Here are a few ways you can support the charity:
To get people talking about domestic abuse and the support services available, MFCC is asking them to follow the charity on social media and share the stories and information - Facebook @MFCCCharity and Twitter @MFCC_Charity.
Donation and monthly payments can be made by visiting MFCC’s JustGiving page.
If a business, organisation or individual wishes to organise a community fundraising event, MFCC can provide publicity materials and collection boxes. A fundraiser page can also be set up through MFCC’s Just Giving.
Local businesses can raise awareness of MFCC’s support services by hosting a collection tin or displaying posters on noticeboards, windows or in toilets.
Goods may also be donated for those needing support. Contact MFCC to discover which items will make the most difference.
Readers who are experiencing domestic abuse, or are worried about someone, should contact MFCC on Tel: 01686 629114, email: admin@familycrisis.co.uk, or visit the website www.familycrisis.co.uk